Sometimes I talk too much, even when I want to shut up I just can’t. There’s always a point to be proven, a person to be shown and an opportunity to be missed. This is called being distracted by the unnecessary. For instance, you ask someone to do you a favor within a particular time frame. Things are planned but then there’s a problem, you’re hit with the “I may be late or something came up I will have to get with you later.” In that moment you’re stuck on the fact that what you asked couldn’t be done in the timeframe you would’ve liked. You become upset and begin to harbor feelings toward the person. They reach out to you to attempt to still be there and do the favor you asked for earlier just not in enough time that you would’ve wanted. You refuse or maybe even ignore them. This is not right, everything that may be your urgency shouldn’t become someone else’s emergency. This is called being selfish and paying attention to the wrong things.
Life can sometimes hide the things you’re supposed to have within the people, places or things you ignore. We have to learn how to quiet down our egos so that we can see the light. I know that even in the best of times I may not always be willing to be a team player. Even when it comes to my relationship, being a team player means staying up late past my self-assigned bedtime based on the amount of sleep I feel that I require. Taking myself and what I want out of the equations of everyday life and feelings to show that I am willing to listen. Not making it a point to rush myself to bed because my partner may be in his feelings and needs my undivided attention. The choice I make as to whether I see what he needs and listen accordingly will play a major role in what I may learn from sacrifice my lips for my ears. Pay attention to the signs, coming early and staying late will always offer you more than you’ve bargained for. Whether it’s dealing with that job you hate but need for a little while longer or staying quieter to see all the sides of an issue before offering a response. You never know what can come out of effective listening. Read that last sentence over and over again until it sets in you mind, body and soul.
Now let’s get back to how being subconsciously selfish can hurt you in multiple ways. No one is responsible the things you do and say. You are the messiah of that mouth placed on your face and that’s why we often have to eat our words. We say things without thinking how it will come out and affect others. Most of the time it’s fueled by anger, bitterness, jealously and sadly even hate. I’ve always been the loudest one in the room, not because I needed the attention but because I felt like I was too smart to listen. I’ve understood that I have a way of commanding the attention of people but I would never watch what I was saying. Never took the time to consider if what I said is something I would be comfortable with everyone hearing. This warrants a dangerous way of living because I hurt so many people with my words. I made myself look stupid so many times speaking in a loyal tone to so many disloyal people. This was never their fault because I volunteered more than what was needed. I lost friends, family and relationships that held value based on not knowing how and when it was time to shut the fuck up and listen. I’m sure you’re reading this right now and a moment comes to mind where you thought what you said was harmless until it was uttered back to you by the person you didn’t expect to hear it. That would be our great ole friend Karma and she’s a bitch. Not watching what you do and say can always have a boomerang effect on your life. What is a life of not listening and doing all of the talking?
“Damn I shouldn’t have..” is usually how are thoughts go when we wake up and there’s nobody waiting to hear from us. How do we redeem ourselves when we’ve said so much and done too little. Some of you read these paragraphs probably while drifting off into thoughts of how this applies to you or something that has nothing to do with what you’re reading. To the point where you don’t even know what the ‘point’ of all of this is. Listen carefully, thoroughly and wholeheartedly to what is going on around you. If you go to work everyday and talk about you and your problems then stop acting surprised when the entire job knows you and your life. Some of us are tired of our man ignoring us but the only time we pay him attention is when we’re yelling, cursing and judging him for the things we want him to do. Mother’s listen to your children, you may think you know all about who they are but how can you if you don’t take a break from chasing their father’s and working doubles to really listen. Pay attention to the signs as I’ve said before they are everywhere. If you’re a person like me who knows a little too much for their own good, write things down and read them over to yourself. This helps to build and shape your own self efficacy so that you can become a better version of you. Listening will always give you better headway in offering a response to a person or problem. Listening will educate you in the best way because what you could’ve heard will be affirmed in how great you listened.