I had a recent situation where someone said “I heard you went out the other night, you didn’t call me?” Those sort of statements always make me laugh because I remember when I was younger growing up I didn’t have any siblings my age or anyone to include me in anything. I always had to go the extra mile to include or attach myself to the things that interested me. There were never really any times where people included me in going skating, bowling or even outside to play. Mother always instructed me to be comfortable with playing alone and learn how to be that way just as if this is how it would be.
As an adult I mastered how to do many things by myself that make others feel totally uncomfortable. Dining, shopping and going to catch a film are some of the things that I have always loved doing by myself. In order for you to know these things you’d have to really know me. What do you do when people present a situation or question to you that clearly shows that they do not really know or understand you? My first instinct is to get highly annoyed and just retreat to being alone simply because I do not like to explain. When you’re alone a lot you kind of get used to figuring it all out and you want everyone else to do the same. I don’t feel like I should have to go out of my way to include people in things that are of the world and of free will. There’s always gonna be a fork in the road where a choice will have to be made and I feel okay with just choosing me and what I want to do. I understand that we all want to feel included in almost everything, it’s a human thing but I can’t and will not apologize for indulging in the adaptations of my life.