It’s not very often where I have quiet moments. Moments when I just sit and observe the things are me. The last couple of days have been like that for me. Trying to gather my thoughts to formulate my next move requires quiet observation.
When all of your ducks aren’t in a row, it’s hard to keep track of them all. Sometimes we oversight our own situations to make room for the insecurities, ideas and suggestions of others. Me being an extroverted person, I am usually speaking, explaining or helping something or someone. Many times while I’m running my mouth whether it’s related to me or not I lose out on my listening time. If course I listen to others while being spoken to but I am not always hearing myself. This is something that I do quite often to the point where it may get harder for me to see what I really need to see. If my friend calls me everyday with issues in his/her life I have to be there to listen and help. When I am working I have to be attentive to my clients and make sure all their needs are met. I also have to always be available to my family and home life to ensure everything is stable and balanced. Where there is room left for quiet time and peace in my valley, it usually gets overshadowed by other responsibilities and or sleep. After a while you realize that you neglected that 3 mile run that you depend on to keep you sane. What happened to that book I meant to read that was supposed to be helping me with those issues no one but me knows of? This is where the abuse kicks in, some may read and say “abuse, there was nothing about you getting hit in this piece?” Yes but there are many forms of abuse and it’s very possible for you to inflict it upon yourself.
Self love and self-preservation is extremely important for your own keepsake. The keeping of your physicality and always the preservation of your brain power and energy. What happens when you’re all talked out but you have so much to say? Where does the frustration, anger and anxiety go when there’s nothing left but bags under your eyes and hurt in your heart? You have to be able to unplug yourself from the world no matter how deep the commitment is. Struggling with balancing your life’s obligations will never go away but you should always allow yourself time to reboot. Ignoring the wants and needs of yourself will always serve as abuse and if you love you, why hurt you?
Inflicting pain upon yourself will always leave that open door for others to do the same.
J.V
*pic credit: rollingstones.com/drjays.com/lilwaynecoversmouth
Vashon Wade 