I never understood being a real writer until I suffered writers block. I was trying to write about this subject by request but nothing came out. Guess I had to dig deep within me to really get my feelings out about it.
It never ceases to amaze me of how selfish people are and the extents they go to just to cover it up. Sometimes it appears blatant and other times shit just can’t be seen, at least in the beginning. I was asked my opinion on double lives and what exactly does it mean to be living one. The funny thing about the question was that it was from a straight male friend of mine whom I thought didn’t have the right to even ask me about such a thing. Not because he was living one but because whenever I thought of “double lives” men that had crossed me in my past came to mind. I hate to be gender specific but that’s what my encounters have been. I know so many people who live their life in the shadows of another. From the men that love women during the day and lust men at night, to the women who judge every female in the world based on their sexual dealing but act as whores of the night. In my opinion there are extreme ways of living a double life and small characteristic attributes that counteract your words and actions that just by default causes you to be living in that way as well.
For instance, if I’m someone who constantly talks about how doing drugs is bad and drinking is just too reckless but I smoke weed on the weekends and go to the bar with friends, in a way that’s me living a double life which is basically me being somewhat of a liar. Some may say well we all kind of do those things but we’re human. Yes, this is true but is that any better than being a wife Monday thru Friday and some other Man’s girlfriend on the weekends? The circumstances are much more heavy and the consequences can be deadly but wrong is wrong.
Now here comes the question portion. Why do people feel as though they should live this way? Could you be living a double life and not even realize it? Sometimes things just happen but are you solely to blame or is it that you suffer from deeper issues? Is this way of living selfish or are you the only one that is affected by it. Of course there’s always going to be other people being affected when you’re living as multiple people because you’re giving no kind of consistency whatsoever. If you think for a second that it’s okay for you to make certain decisions that causes you to live a different way everyday that consists of being misleading, manipulative or just plain lying you’re so wrong as well as delusional. I know that we live in a generation of the whatever. What I mean is people doing whatever the have to do to ensure their own happiness. All this does is mess up innocent people in the long run because you really don’t know who you are and you’re masking it by creating various everyday illusions.
I am not judging and I just have to say that. These are just careful observations of what living a double life can cause. When I recognize people who bend break or fold due to the mere change in weather I tend to stand clear to avoid my own life’s conflicting. When you’ve been through it you just simply can’t tolerate it especially when you don’t have to.
Vashon Wade 2012 (the victim of someone else’s selfishness)
amerie & tristan wilds alter ego photo shoot/ http://www.dblanks.com/alterego/