The problem I thought I had an hour or two ago has escaped me. It’s good though because I was able to dig deep with time and quiet to do it. I’m always trying to force myself to have a whole bunch of shit going on when I don’t have to I can breathe & should….
As I scowl down at my phone waiting for some type of resolution to come through whether it be a call, text or even a tweet, there’s nothing. Sometimes we use these devices to validate or existence and sometimes with good reason. Seems like the only time I process and think everything through is when I’m going through a period of rejection. Why does it take for me to not be chosen by distractions of phone calls or social networks for me to consider reality? Now when I say rejection it could be viewed from many different angles. You’ve applied for several jobs and you’re awaiting that call back. Rejection could also mean going through the trials of love from a lover with inconsistent behavior (previously discussed). You could also be feeling this way because you feel like god hasn’t answered you according to your timeline. What if everything is right though? Some of the instances I stated can and will leave you wondering how you became an option and why? It’s funny how options can be great in your hands but in the hands of others not so much. I myself feel like I need to be counted out at times to be forced to see what I really should be thinking about. Discipline comes with adversity and challenge when it’s thrown at you. Nobody signs up to be in thought-provoking situations they just happen and they are supposed to cause you to figure out what balance is and what it should be.
Sometimes us humans try to force life into happening our way until we get hit by a shit load of redirection circumstances. The things that make you go mmmmm.
Why is it a big deal when the call isn’t answered? Is it that hard to cope with process? Should you be chasing anything in life with no response or preview of progress? That’s a lot I know but if you read through and process it all it simply says: DON’T SWEAT TANGIBLES. Exist while strategically handling business. Everybody wants to live like a super hero on the outside with the fear of an innocent bystander on the outside. I quit when it comes to worrying about every little judgement, question or rejection. I’m trying to be multi-versed in all areas of me.
The mirror you use should help with Internally seeing yourself as well as the outside parts.