The mood of the place that I am in right now <<<<<< the thought of me leaving and never having to come back!
Not knowing can be a rewarding experience. Sometimes we look so hard and try to find out things that we think we should know when it’s not necessarily for us. As a kid I always had to know what it was like to hang with various groups of friends. Not because I wanted to be popular but I just wanted to be informed on what everyone was doing. So sad how children have to learn and see on their own but it benefits them in the long run. Maybe intuition wasn’t acknowledged back then because even if my mom told me “no don’t do that,” I still felt the need to explore. I would come into contact with situations that nearly threatened my life just because of my curiosity. Now it’s not so much as to me inquiring about how and why but it’s just me knowing when enough us enough. Recently (but not recently gotta throw the person off lol) I attended an event in support of a friend. Although my interest was not in what was being held but to support the friend I was intrigued. You ever do something and think “damn I should have stayed home?” Why didn’t I follow my first kind and just do me? That’s the feeling I felt, this was not a place that offered my sort of comfort. I needed to make a decision fast, did I love me or them? Them being the person I was there to support, me is the person I will always support. You know I left right! So many times I’ve been uncomfortable or unhappy for the likes of others with very little pay off. I feel like damn near every thing in life will go on with or without you. When you die does your job die too or do they find someone else to fill your position? If I don’t pick my friend up from work even though I’m awfully tired, won’t she get home? If I sacrifice how I feel to make everyone else happy, will I be living my best life.
Number one rule in my world of words is living and loving you. It can be harshly revealing but it offers much retribution. Some things are meant for you to never have to face. Stuff your girlfriend Sheila or Brother John go through you may not have too. Some of the decisions your mate or mother may have to make might not ever come across your mind. Until it happens to you be free and make things light and easy because whether you want it to or not LIFE will happen. I truly believe that when you light a fireplace it’s going to burn whether you stand in front of it or not. If the tree falls, whether you heard it or not it fell. Make decisions that make noise with much to show even if nobody is looking or listening.
Vashon Wade ❤ 2012